"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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