FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
