Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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