is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
