That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
