How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
