Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
