Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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