I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
