So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I made him laugh his dick is mine
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
