I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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