it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize