Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
