it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
