none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
