Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
