I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
