your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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