you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
