saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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