Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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