Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
