I just pynch a tree in the face
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
The power of my boobs compel you
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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