either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
