I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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