belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Randomize
