The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
accomplished twins. life is a go
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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