So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Randomize
