I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
