Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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