I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
