i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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