We're like a lot better than the average bears
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
