you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
