just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
