so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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