if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
