ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I love you.
Bad choice
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
