Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
