We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
