i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
