I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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