He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
