PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
