You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
