so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
