the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
