Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
