So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
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