apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Let's paint friendship bongs
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
