I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
