You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
It's like God shit irony all over that family
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
